The Trilateral Commission is
a. a Euro-funk synth band.
b. the international monetary exchange regulatory agency.
c. a novel by Robert Ludlum.
d. the foundation for the study of foreign affairs.

Henry "Hank" Aaron is best known for
a. his prowess with a stick.
b. his ability to talk to animals.
c. his skill at lifting weights.
d. "Hank who?"

Acupuncture is
a. the ability to accurately puncture anything.
b. extremely painful.
c. a style of kinky sex.
d. an ancient form of Chinese medicine.

If you inhaled Agent Orange you were probably
a. in Vietnam.
b. stoned.
c. loaded with Vitamin C.
d. able to talk like Donald Duck.

An abacus is
a. another name for a chalkboard.
b. a technique for counting.
c. an insignificant Roman god.
d. something dirty.

Your abdomen is located
a. inside your bank.
b. inside your Audi.
c. beneath your chest.
d. best after dark.

A W-4 is
a. the best all-around motor oil.
b. a tax form.
c. a fighter plane.
d. Leisure Suit Larry's draft rating.

The Electoral College is
a. in upstate Vermont.
b. Ronald Reagan's alma mater.
c. a system of direct representation.
d. ridiculous.

The Presidency of Gerald Ford is remembered for
a. the escalation of the Vietnam War.
b. the beginning of the Watergate scandal.
c. the decline of inflation.
d. nothing much.

OPEC is
a. America's first line of defense.
b. a government agency.
c. the coalition of oil producing countries.
d. a computer language.

"The Andy Griffith Show" was a spinoff of
a. "Make Room For Daddy."
b. "Mayberry R.F.D."
c. "Matlock."
d. none of the above

An aneurysm is
a. a swamp-dwelling marsupial.
b. quite enjoyable.
c. an enlargement in an artery.
d. usually caused by frog urine.

In 1979, the Vice-President of the U.S. was nicknamed
a. "Poppy."
b. "Fritz."
c. "Hans."
d. "Dutch."

A balloon mortgage is
a. an early type of aircraft
b. a kind of French torture device
c. a type of home loan
d. a cross-country hot air balloon race

Who played Patty Duke's cousin on "The Patty Duke Show?"
a. Patty Duke
b. Pia Zadora
c. Patty O'Rourke
d. Patty Melt

Krakatoa is actually ____ of Java.
a. West
b. East
c. Northeast
d. Southeast

Jack Benny's chauffer was
a. Westchester.
b. Portsmouth.
c. Rochester.
d. underpaid.

"Who threw the overalls in Mrs. Murphy's
a. laundry?"
b. merkin?"
c. mukluks?"
d. chowder?"

"You won't have ____ to kick around any more."
a. Richard Nixon
b. Charles Atlas
c. Al Lowe
d. Pele

"Candy is dandy, but"
a. "who ordered candy?"
b. "booze is badder."
c. "cheddar is better."
d. "liquor is quicker."

Abbie Hoffman wrote
a. "The Grapes of Wrath."
b. "The Wrath of Khan."
c. "Take My Wife... Please!"
d. "Steal This Book."

Who died in "Love Story?"
a. Ali McGraw
b. Ryan O'Neal
c. Brian Piccolo
d. the audience

A philatelist is
a. a humanitarian.
b. a barbarian.
c. one who licks and tells.
d. a stamp collector.

Comedians often play in
a. the Bible Belt.
b. the Corn Belt.
c. the Borscht Belt.
d. their food.

"Ask any mermaid you happen to see,"
a. What's the finest caviar?
b. What's the best tuna?
c. What is Tom Hanks really like?
d. Are you Shirley McClaine?

Charles Dickens wrote
a. "Tails From Two Cities."
b. "David Copperfield."
c. "Magic Made Easy."
d. "Doug Henning."

Lizzy Borden gave her mother
a. a poem lovely as a tree.
b. a cherry that had no stone.
c. gray hair.
d. forty whacks.

The five Marx brothers were Groucho, Harpo, Chico,
a. Bobo and Rollo.
b. Zeppo and Gummo.
c. Karl and Freddy.
d. Scooter and Skido.

Pesticide is
a. a legal term for the murder of a younger sibling.
b. a slang term for the harassing of nerds.
c. a bug killer.
d. taking sides with obnoxious people.

An oil glut is
a. the latest tanker spill.
b. how doctors describe cholesterol in arteries.
c. a typical fast-food meal.
d. an overabundance of the commodity in the world markets.

A philanthropist is
a. a humanitarian.
b. a stamp collector.
c. a frivolous lover
d. the lasso-slinging ability of Phil's aunt.

"The Munster's" pet dragon was called
a. Spot.
b. Fred.
c. Igor.
d. Smokey.

Cat Stevens is
a. a famous cat food promoter.
b. a beatnick politician of the 50's.
c. a singer/songwriter who "got religion."
d. Austrian.

In the TV show "Rawhide," Rowdy Yates was played by
a. Harry Carey
b. Clint Eastwood
c. Harry Palm
d. Clint Walker

The "Women's Suffrage" movement was run by
a. Susan B. Anthony.
b. Jacqueline Susann.
c. Gloria Steinem.
d. Paula Abdul.

Two famous sex researchers were
a. Olsen and Johnson.
b. Masters and Johnson.
c. Johnson and Johnson.
d. Hall and Oates.

What is a "Brainfour?"
a. a thinking device
b. a quadralateral circle
c. an operation to remove blood clots
d. a memory chip holding four times more information

The fastest speed you would reach if you jumped off a 40-story building is
a. 400 MPH (40x10.0).
b. 0.4 MPH (40+4/10).
c. 4 MPH (40/10).
d. irrelevant to you at the time.

Are you a kid?
a. Yes, but I wanna play anyway.
b. Yes.
c. No.
d. No, I are a grown up.

Social Security is
a. for people afraid to be alone in public.
b. an underarm deodorant.
c. a contract signed when you get married.
d. some sort of governmental thing.

"All Along the Watchtower" is a
a. religious publication.
b. song by Bob Dylan.
c. nickname for guard duty during WW II.
d. "Great Wall of China" fight song.

In the 60's television show, U.N.C.L.E. stood for
a. Underground National Council for Large Earlobes.
b. United Network Command for Law Enforcement.
c. United Naval Commission for Leaders of Europe.
d. "truth, justice, and the American way."

Vertigo is
a. a balance disorder of the inner ear.
b. an Alfred Hitchcock film.
c. any sudden vertical movement.
d. both A and B.

Watergate is
a. a hotel.
b. a large, water-driven power station.
c. a valve used to stop leaks in water pipes.
d. German for "your father's heart."

A "condominium" is
a. a prophylactic for midgets.
b. a small supermarket.
c. an apartment you can purchase.
d. the smallest size.

Which was not a '60s rock group?
a. The Who
b. The Stones
c. The Beatles
d. The Bangles

Spiro Agnew was
a. a linebacker for Green Bay.
b. a billionaire Greek shipping tycoon.
c. an ex-con.
d. pardoned.

In 1980, Americans supported the Iranian hostages by
a. not buying gasoline.
b. taking out a contract on the Ayatollah.
c. holding mass rallies.
d. tying up innocent trees in yellow ribbons.

In the mid-70's, you had the "dry look" if you
a. had too many dry martinis for lunch.
b. used a blow dryer.
c. had too many dry beers after work.
d. wore desert boots.

A square root is a
a. mathematical term.
b. nerd cheer.
c. path with no diagonal movement.
d. painful condition.

Senile people
a. have been to Egypt.
b. study rivers professionally.
c. live in pyramids.
d. (I forget the fourth answer.)

"Brown vs Board of Education" concerned
a. corporal punishment.
b. desegregation.
c. forced busing.
d. declaring catsup a vegetable.

Canasta is
a. the capital of Haiti.
b. a Cuban dance.
c. a card game.
d. Madonna's last name.

If someone called you a thespian, he would probably be
a. referring to your dramatic skills.
b. referring to your ethnic background.
c. insulting your sexual preferences.
d. punched out!

ARVN stands for the
a. "American Recreational Vehicle Network."
b. "Army of the Republic of Viet Nam."
c. "American Rock Video Network."
d. "Automatic Recovery Vehicle--Nuclear."

"The Naked Lunch" is
a. served at only your more sophisticated restaurants.
b. live at CBGB's.
c. available in VHS.
d. a beatnik novel.

The Gestapo was a
a. now-defunct chain of Quiki-Marts in the Deep South.
b. tribe of headhunters.
c. WWII German police force.
d. popular 60's dance.

"LSD" is
a. used to slow the spread of cancer.
b. able to really mess up your head.
c. any "Large Screen Display."
d. a "Large Stomach Disorder."

Analgesics are used to
a. control pain.
b. enhance rectal pleasure.
c. prevent pregnancy.
d. kill fleas.

The term "Baby Boom" refers to the
a. now-defunct practice of exploding ugly offspring.
b. noise a baby's bottom makes.
c. increased birthrate following WWII.
d. sound a baby makes when dropped from a high building.

Someone interested in animal husbandry
a. is married to a sheep.
b. petitions for animal rights.
c. would be arrested in Michigan.
d. breeds livestock.

A Bar Mitzvah is a
a. famous Manhattan gay bar.
b. Jewish religious ceremony.
c. Yiddish granola bar.
d. special kind of cracker.

The Big Bang is
a. the title of a hit porno movie.
b. Bernard Goetz's favorite sound.
c. how the universe got its start.
d. a 27-car pileup.

The U.S. Vice-President elected in 1988 was
a. J. Danforth Quayle.
b. not ready for prime time.
c. "No Jack Kennedy."
d. All of the above.

What is interface protocol?
a. a required course in "The Famous Beauticians School"
b. Chapter Three of "How to Earn Big Bucks as an Ambassador"
c. foreplay between consenting computers
d. when the eyes and the nose cast their "Ayes" and "Nos"

Josephine the _____
a. Bonaparte
b. Manicurist
c. Eighth
d. Plumber

Who had a rabbit and a talking grandfather clock?
a. Captain Kangaroo
b. Glenn Close
c. Jimmy Stewart
d. Pee Wee Herman

What band was Paul McCartney in before Wings?
a. Menudo
b. The Beatles
c. The Monkees
d. The Traveling Wilburys

If they could just stay little until their _____ wear out.
a. Carters
b. undies
c. kidneys
d. Legos

What was the first TV show with the sound of a flushing toilet?
a. "Maude"
b. "The Jeffersons"
c. "American Top 40"
d. "All in the Family"

What TV show featured an appearance by Richard Nixon?
a. "Hello, Larry."
b. "Mr. President."
c. "Laugh-In."
d. A special 2-hour "Love Boat."

The phrase "Cutting the cheese" refers to
a. hors d'oeuvres preparation.
b. topping another French chef.
c. leaving a warm climate.
d. flatulence.

Which of the following was NOT a carbonated drink?
a. "Nik-L-Nip"
b. "Vita-Cola"
c. "Moxie"
d. "Mr. Pibb"

The "Domino Theory" refers to
a. "30 minutes! Guaranteed!!"
b. Southeast Asia.
c. the speed of collapsing rows of vertical dominoes.
d. the non-Latin Mass.

"Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious" is
a. a typo.
b. misspelled.
c. an adjective.
d. a palindrome.

In "The Wizard of Oz," Dorothy's last name was
a. Parker.
b. Gale.
c. Gumm.
d. Minelli.

Who fought the Battle of the Bulge?
a. General Ullyses S. Grant
b. Colonel Tom Parker
c. General MacAuliffe
d. Elizabeth Taylor

Muhammad Ali was originally known as
a. Cassius Clay.
b. Titus Andronicus.
c. Sonny Liston.
d. Wally Cox.

Marijuana has never been called
a. pot.
b. grass.
c. reefer.
d. off.

Who never won the Nobel Peace Prize?
a. Teddy Roosevelt
b. Henry Kissinger
c. Linus Pauling
d. Pope John XXIII

In the Spanish Civil War, the Fascists defeated the
a. Democrats.
b. Republicans.
c. Libertarians.
d. Armada.

Ronald Reagan was never a
a. sportscaster.
b. professional football player.
c. governor.
d. napper.

The Mason-Dixon Line is a
a. betting spread.
b. geometry problem.
c. surveying boundary.
d. type of fishing gear.

Muhammed Ali was known for
a. his skill as a poet.
b. missing the draft.
c. boxing.
d. All of the above.

Which of the following is not a Woody Allen film?
a. "Exteriors"
b. "Manhattan"
c. "Annie Hall"
d. "Bananas"

People discussing arms control are
a. involved in the prosthetics industry.
b. mitigating the destructiveness of war.
c. preparing for short arms inspection.
d. practicing cheerleading.

Artificial insemination is the
a. study of plastic plants.
b. study of sex among the insemians.
c. technique widely used to breed animals.
d. safest form of sex.

Artificial intelligence is
a. computers pretending to be human.
b. humans pretending to be computers.
c. an oxy-moron.
d. a blow-up doll.

The author of this game likes to wear his hair
a. parted on the left.
b. parted on the right.
c. long.
d. on the inside.

Mikhail Baryshnikov is famous for?
a. being an ex-Commie
b. wearing tight underwear
c. performing while on tip-toes
d. All of the above.

What occurred at the Bay of Pigs?
a. Many ugly women took a bath.
b. A big mistake.
c. The first bacon factory was established.
d. Columbus arrived in America.

Which was not a Beatles song?
a. "Please, Please Me"
b. "Ob-La-Di Ob-La-Di Ob-La-Da"
c. "Put This In Your Mouth"
d. "The Continuing Story of Bungalow Bill"

Pearl Harbor is best known for
a. being a great place to shop for necklaces.
b. her five years as a Washington D. C. madam.
c. being bombed during World War II.
d. her singing voice.

Macadamia nuts are
a. caused by infrequent bathing.
b. extremely painful.
c. usually supplied with batteries.
d. common in Hawaii.

Mace is
a. liquid tear gas.
b. a mild aphrodisiac.
c. best applied as a topical lubricant.
d. a brand of underarm deodorant.

If "the rabbit died," what really happened is
a. its ears went limp.
b. somebody's been doing something to someone.
c. you need a different brand of rabbit chow.
d. there'll be no more rabbit poop around the house.

What can you get in a "red light" district?
a. in many cases, trouble
b. the Blue Plate Special
c. outdoor lighting fixtures
d. lingerie

To impress your date, you should
a. sing (loudly) Barry Manilow's greatest hits.
b. casually mention how you flunked your last blood test.
c. not bring up the vast quantities of ear hair they have.
d. discuss your plans to continue living at home with Mom.

According to men, women think foreplay should last
a. longer.
b. much longer.
c. much much longer.
d. All of the above.

I am easily offended by
a. nudity.
b. racial humor.
c. foul language.
d. None of the above.

The rhythm method is
a. how drummers do it.
b. a popular form of birth control.
c. percussive in nature.
d. a way to fool around while listening to music.

Eleven inches is
a. a foot.
b. a yard.
c. .70 meters
d. more than I have.

Who should be on top, the male or the female?
a. On top of what?
b. the male
c. the female
d. What species?

Which of the following does not belong?
a. walking the dog
b. hunting beaver
c. chasing tail
d. trolling

How many virgin cheerleaders are there?
a. Five million.
b. Two thousand.
c. One hundred.
d. Too many.

Which of the following does not belong?
a. Safe
b. Raincoat
c. Tire iron
d. Condom

Who comes on New Year's Eve?
a. Santa Claus
b. The Easter Bunny
c. Jason
d. Sometimes, me

A conundrum is
a. used to prevent disease.
b. a riddle.
c. a yuppie habitat (sometimes known as a "condo").
d. a musical instrument of the percussion family.

What lies on the back of a Playboy centerfold?
a. several jokes
b. a tattoo
c. her boyfriend
d. a hairy wart

What celebrity was the first Ronald McDonald?
a. Willard Scott
b. Larry Laffer
c. Ronald Reagan
d. Bert Parks

A homophone is
a. opposed to the gay lifestyle.
b. in favor of the gay lifestyle.
c. a word that sounds like another word.
d. a communication device.

What is "Where the Rubber hits the Road?"
a. Trojan
b. Firestone
c. The Hollywood Drive-In Theatre
d. Galoshes, Inc.

Who does not belong?
a. Marilyn Monroe
b. Phyllis Diller
c. Jayne Mansfield
d. Bo Derek

A reefer is
a. to give to or assign to someone.
b. a good place to store beer.
c. where ships often crash.
d. sometimes smoked illegally.

TM is most often associated with
a. the Bahgwan Shree Rajneesh.
b. Shirley MacLaine.
c. the Maharishi Mahesh Yogi.
d. Yogi Bear.

Buddy Holly died
a. on stage.
b. in the saddle.
c. in an airplane crash.
d. in the "Blue Ball Saloon" when he bent to tie his shoelace.

What did Gomer Pyle say when he was excited?
a. Shazam!
b. Wanna buy a duck?
c. Yes, sir!
d. Yabba Dabba Doo!

A loop is
a. often used in family planning.
b. repeated instructions in a computer program.
c. in downtown Chicago.
d. All of the above.

Decalcomania is
a. an obsession with decimals.
b. an obsession with Californians.
c. sticky.
d. a mental disease involving decalcos.

STD is
a. an automotive lubricant.
b. something to avoid.
c. commonly associated with celibacy.
d. a West German political party.

Who does not belong?
a. Peter Lawford
b. Sammy Davis
c. Stevie Wonder
d. Dean Martin

Who invented "The Twist?"
a. Chubby Checker
b. Michael Jackson
c. The American Chiropractic Society
d. Milton Bradley

CP/M is
a. a first aid technique.
b. a type of accountant.
c. a female problem.
d. an operating system.

Chlamydia is
a. a baroque musical instrument.
b. often "gotten off a toilet seat."
c. a flower with purple petals.
d. the fifth wife of Emperor Nero.

Who was not in the original "Saturday Night Live" cast?
a. Chevy Chase
b. Gilda Radner
c. Eddie Murphy
d. John Belushi

Which of these do you consider most offensive?
a. Abstinence
b. Graphic sex
c. Gratuitous promiscuity
d. Racial slurs

An IUD is
a. a promissory note.
b. an international organization.
c. used to increase fertility.
d. supposed to limit reproduction.

Which of these is out of place?
a. cathouse
b. house of ill repute
c. bridge club
d. the Chicken Ranch

Which of these is not related to fowls.
a. laying an egg
b. getting laid
c. telling a yolk
d. "finger-lickin' good"

What country produces the Mercedes Benz?
a. The same folks that brought you sauerkraut
b. Atlantis
c. Sweden
d. Japan

What does the "F" stand for in JFK?
a. Forest
b. Fitzgerald
c. Franklin
d. Fitzpatrick